Reviews

There’s this, like, big genetic ray thing and it totally mutates The Rock’s gorilla best mate into a giant angry type of gorilla who goes and smashes everything up. […]

It’s about this world that’s totally rubbish so everyone spends, like, ages playing this game instead which is like when Jet Set Willy came out.
[…]

“So, I’ve had maybe three pints. Possibly four, no more than five, anyway. Unless you count that one I had when I walked in, so six pints. Seven pints. But that’s all.” […]

Yeah, so this is totally the most popular film ever, except for Titanic and that one with the space smurfs. […]

So, yeah man, Laura Croft, she was totally a feminist icon in the nineties for people who thought feminist icons had triangular, like, breasts and really tiny shorts. […]

So, I definitely totally had two shoes when I got home last night. Well, alright ‘definitely’ is pushing it. 90%. I’m, like, 90% sure I had two shoes. 80%.
[…]

So, yeah, the woman who falls in love with a fish. If you think about it, it can’t be that unusual because if people didn’t fall in love with fishes then where would mermaids come from, right? […]

Woah, imagine if this film was about the adventures of that ladybird who got trapped in Barry Onions’ ear and got a load of Frantic Headbanger poured on it. […]

Then the rabbits start talking and I freak, man. I just start screaming. […]

I don’t know if you know or not, but there is, like, loads and loads of sex on the internet, and you don’t have to sit through a load of car adverts before you watch it. […]

This is, like, Daniel Day-Lewis’ last film ever until he gets a bit bored and decides to come back and do another film. […]

But, you could definitely improve this film. Like, when the police go to arrest Tonya Harding you could have a police car versus ice-skater chase sequence. […]

I’m not saying The Post is a bad film, it’s totally a great film – Meryl Streep and Forrest Gump just, you know, totally acting. […]

I head down to the Splintered Foot because, you know, after a few pints of Frantic Headbanger, you can get totally enthusiastic about anything, even billboard films. […]

So, yeah, grumpy Batman on a horse is going about being cross and I’m like, yeah, he’s hostile so, you know, value for money. […]