Review – Hostiles

Grumpy Batman

Yeah, so there’s this man who’s totally cross and on a horse and in the Old West and he’s cross with the Indians and some other men but then he makes friends a bit and, you know, people who seem to have nothing in common all learn something about each other and themselves and that.

Totally standard, right? But it’s got an amazing twist. The twist, right, is that the cross man is played by actual Batman. So, it’s like if Batman lived in the past. Which I suppose he did, if you watch the TV Batman from the sixties because he lived in the sixties. But this isn’t Batman from the past, it’s grumpy modern Batman but he’s playing a grumpy man from the past.


So, yeah, grumpy Batman on a horse is going about being cross and I’m like, yeah, he’s hostile so, you know, value for money.

I guess we’re all about getting an Oscar now and that’s what this is why Batman is being all cross, because you’ve got to be cross to win an Oscar, or at least you’ve got to shout a lot. You know, like Robert DeNiro and Daniel Day-Lewis. They just rock up, have a bit of a shout, and get an Oscar. So this is what Batman’s up to, I reckon.

I hope he wins, man. Because not only will it be reward for a really good, really cross and shouty bit of acting, but also a reward for duffing up all those criminals in Gotham City, and it’d be the first time an actual real-time superhero won an Oscar.

Except Jessica Tandy, of course.

Screen Idle rating **** Angry Batman in the past rules, man.

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