Yeah, so my mate Barry Onions once got a ladybird stuck in his ear.
It was a crazy scene, man. I was in The Splintered Foot and Barry ran in screaming about how robo-soldier cyborgs were invading.
I was all like – chill dude, if there are robo-soldier cyborgs invading then we can form a ragtaggle group of, like, brave resistance fighters who live in Coventry.
Then I asked him where they were and he said they were everywhere, because wherever he went he could hear their terrible electrical buzzing sound.
But then Cider Mary had a genius idea and said to look in his ear. So I did and there was nothing.
The Cider Mary had another genius idea to look in his other ear. So I did and there was this ladybird trapped in there.
We poured in a few drops of, like, Frantic Headbanger and it totally flew right out.
So, I thought – woah, imagine if this film was about the adventures of that ladybird who got trapped in Barry Onions’ ear and got a load of Frantic Headbanger poured on it.
It’d be this, you know, totally thought-provoking meditation on the fragility of life.
It’s not though. Its about this girl with hair who has a mum who was in Roseanne and they, like, live in the past.
Screen Idle star rating **** – Decent, but not as good as a film about a ladybird being stuck in Barry Onions’ ear would be.
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