Review – The Shape of Water

Yeah, so this is a film about a lady who totally falls in love with a fish.

So, I was all like – dude? A fish? That’s just totally not right. You can’t be falling in love with a fish, man. No way. But then I thought – woah, back up there. Love is beautiful thing, and you can’t be judgemental about love.

Unless it’s Mucky Dave and that doll. I mean, do what you like in your own home, man, but start dressing it in your mum’s clothes and taking it to the pub for a pie and you need to, like, have a word with yourself.

So, yeah, the woman who falls in love with a fish. If you think about it, it can’t be that unusual because if people didn’t fall in love with fishes then where would mermaids come from, right?

Well, alright, I suppose that men, like, having it off with a mermaid would produce another mermaid.

But, you know, originally, back in olden times, people must have done sex with fishes, you know, or we wouldn’t have all the mermaids.

So yeah, this is a totally beautiful film about a lady who totally falls in love with a fish and I’m okay with that and you should be too.

Screen Idle star rating **** – for the mermaids, man. For the mermaids.