Review – Black Panther

Yeah, so this is totally the most popular film ever, except for Titanic and that one with the space smurfs.

But, you know, I’ve not reviewed it because I’m totally a highbrow critic, man, but then I thought – ‘wait, man, what if people want to see the panther film? They need to get a honest review.’

So, yeah, I was totally going to go to the multiplex and check the film out but then there was this, like, total disaster, man.

It got really cold.

I mean, like, totally freezing, and I was still definitely going to go to the cinema and everything, but then I thought – ‘what if you, like, totally die, man, of being cold.’

Yeah, man. Shocking thought, and it was totally a risk I was prepared to take, but, you know, I didn’t want that on your conscience – me dying because you want to know if Black Panther’s worth seeing. That would be totally out of order.

So, right, Dirty Barry, right? He’s always got a load of moody films about housewives doing stuff that he downloads off the Internet, and he only lives two doors down, so I’m unlikely to die of being cold.

Right, so I’m at Dirty Barry’s and his mum is totally, like, shouting at Dirty Barry for watching all the films about housewives and not, like, getting a job and that, and I’m all like ‘No, man, Dirty Barry’s in no position to download* me a moody copy of Black Panther.’

So I go home and have a cup of tea instead.

Screen Idle star rating *** – decent cup of tea, man.

*Screen Idle in no way condones the downloading of moody copies of Black Panther unless its a reviewing emergency, man**

** Oh wow, apparently, not even if it’s a reviewing emergency. Harsh, man.