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30 August 2026

News

What the hell is happening?

This, this is what happening, and it’s going to blow your mind.

boney m
News

Boney M biopic feared

8 March 2019 Neil Tollfree 2

“I’ll be honest, I’m really worried,” said cinema-goer Mary Baker. […]

roma
News

English-language remake of Roma to be in colour and feature happy ending

7 March 2019 Neil Tollfree 0

“But come on, what the hell was the idea with making it in Mexican? Who understands Mexican? No-one, that’s who.” […]

deadwood
News

Deadwood footage shows Al Swearengen install swear box.

6 March 2019 Neil Tollfree 0

“To be honest, I’ve never been fond of the bad language in Deadwood,” said writer David Milch. […]

scooby doo
News

New reboot to feature broken, disillusioned alcoholic Scooby Doo

5 March 2019 Neil Tollfree 0

The film reveals that Scooby Doo turned to drink after the breakup of the Scooby gang following Fred’s affair with Velma. […]

dumbo
News

Shock as Dumbo appears NAKED in new trailer

4 March 2019 Neil Tollfree 0

“It can’t be that hard to go back to the film and use technology to put Dumbo in a nice pair of slacks and a shirt and tie.” […]

Oyelowo
News

Hungover David Oyelowo wakes to discover he is in Peter Rabbit sequel

1 March 2019 Neil Tollfree 0

“I woke up this morning in a bed filled with kebab and chips, my trousers were up the tree in the front garden, and I’d signed a contract to take a lead role in the sequel to Peter Rabbit.” […]

Robo-Bastard
News

Terminator 6: James Cameron reveals title is ‘Future Robo-Bastard from Space’

28 February 2019 Neil Tollfree 1

Other options were, apparently, Terminator: Robo-Death Man and Terminator: Metal-Arse. […]

fortnite season
News

New Fortnite season to be based around the films of Ingmar Bergman

27 February 2019 Neil Tollfree 0

New skins for the Bergman season will include the medieval peasant, the mourning widow, and the disillusioned intellectual. […]

best picture
News

Oscars to rename ‘Best Picture’ award to ‘A Picture That Came Out Recently’

26 February 2019 Neil Tollfree 0

The change has been decided on because it’s clearly far too much bother to actually pick the genuine ‘Best Picture’ of the year, as evidenced by the award going to Green Book this year instead of Chloe Zhao’s The Rider. […]

News

Breaking: Drunken Glenn Close demands Coleman fight her for Oscar

25 February 2019 Neil Tollfree 0

“She got right into Olivia’s face and kept saying that they should settle it like Meryl Streep and Julie Andrews did in ’83 – with a fight in the car park.” […]

Spider-verse
News

Director’s Cut of ‘Into the Spider-verse’ to feature Spider-wardrobe and Spider-Ken Clarke

25 February 2019 Neil Tollfree 0

“Spider-Ken Clarke just adds this real weight to the picture, you know, he’s an old guy, he’s served in several British governments, he’s got a real credibility.” […]

dragons
News

Oscars to feature nudity, dragons and violence in ratings-drive

22 February 2019 Neil Tollfree 0

Fewer and fewer people have been watching the Oscars for years now culminating in last year’s disastrous viewing figures of 4. […]

Les Miserables
News

Les Miserables to be turned into a musical

21 February 2019 Neil Tollfree 0

“We were thinking of a Hamilton-style hip hop musical, you know – ‘I’m Jean Valjean, I’m from the street, I keep my beard, nice and neat.’” […]

the stand
News

New TV adaptation of Stephen King’s The Stand to last until end of time

20 February 2019 Neil Tollfree 3

“I mean, I haven’t read it, obviously. But I did spend three weeks reading the blurb on the back of the book and it sounds tremendous.” […]

lamp
News

Genie was sent to live in lamp after getting into a playground fight, new Aladdin film reveals

19 February 2019 Pete Redfern 0

“In order to get a grasp of why the genie is the way he is, you have to understand that his life got flipped – turned upside down, if you like – a few years before Aladdin turned up.” […]

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