Following the success of Alfonso Cuaron’s moving family drama Roma, an English-language remake has been announced that will feature a more upbeat story with a triumphant happy ending and will be filmed in colour.
“Roma was a hell of a picture. One for the ages, really,” said remake producer Stewart James.
“But come on, what the hell was the idea with making it in Mexican? Who understands Mexican? No-one, that’s who.
“So, you got to have the subtitles and no-one likes reading subtitles while they’re trying to watch a picture.
“And making it and black and white. I mean, I guess the guy, the director – Alfred something – I guess he didn’t have a lot of money so couldn’t afford colour, we’ll change that.”
Mr James revealed that the biggest issue was the ending.
“Yeah, the Dad leaves. I mean – downer! We got to change that.
He gave an overview of what to expect from the remake.
“Okay, so you’ve got the family and the dad is Tom Cruise or Mark Wahlberg, and the wife is some hot chick, I don’t know yet.
“They do a bunch of crazy shit and together learn that family is really important and it ends with them getting a really nice car or something.
“You know, feelgood.”
The remake will be called Rome and will be out in 2020 and after dispensing with all that foreign nonsense, it should finally win the ‘Best Picture’ Oscar.
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