Month: May 2020

“A professional? Without an office or a suit and tie? Something didn’t add up.” […]

“Back in the seventies, I had to settle for that hippie BS about Luke and Han blowing up the Death Star and getting nice medals.” […]

“The world finds out about Kong on that island and is like ‘woah, giant gorilla, this is the greatest monster ever’ and Godzilla is like ‘Er, hello, fire-breathing lizard over here.’ […]

The news will come has a relief to people who were getting pretty sick of a new Spiderman turning up every few years. […]

“We’ve been working on this sequel for forty-two years and we’re aiming to have it ready by sometime around 2060, so the last thing we need is further delays.” […]

“No, this is definitely brilliant news,” said Vaino III, King of Finland and avid gamer. […]

“It’s an absolute disgrace. I immediately pushed my television out of the window and set fire to my TV licence.” […]

“We’ll have The Rock playing a broom, and then, using magic, we’ll create 2 versions of The Rock playing a broom” […]

“Line of Duty? It’s just been getting way too serious in the last couple of series.” […]

“There was a culture of intimidation at Kelloggs, and Tony was king.” […]

Considered by right-thinking people to be one of the finest movies ever made about poltergeist clowns. […]

“These are great gifts for the News at Ten enthusiast,” insisted BBC Head of News Fran Unsworth. […]