Scientists confident they’ve recovered all misplaced radioactive spiders

Scientists have announced that the radioactive spider crisis is now over and they are confident that all misplaced radioactive spiders have now been recovered.

The radioactive spiders were misplaced some fifteen years ago and have resulted in three known cases of spider-powers development.

The three young men who developed the spider-powers all live in the Queens area of New York, so scientists focused their search in that location and have confirmed that they have now recaptured the escaped spiders.

“I’m as confident as I can be,” said Dr Peter Jones.

“But that said, we were sure we’d rounded them all up four years ago, and then that third kid developed Spider powers, the really young one.

“I mean, three different people in the space of about twelve years all getting bitten by radioactive spiders and developing spider-powers? It’s pretty unbelievable.

“That’s just who we know about, there could be a whole load of other kids who got bit but didn’t develop superpowers and just got really sick.

“But, I guess you don’t make movies about those kids.”

The news that the radioactive spiders have now all been captured will come has a relief to people in all walks of life who were getting pretty sick of a new Spiderman turning up every few years.

The recapture of the radioactive spiders is certainly good news for New York, but it will put increased pressure on Gotham City Council to block up that well that leads to the cave full of bats.

Current estimates are that at least six rich orphan boys have fallen down it in the last thirty years and gone on to develop an obsession with fighting crime in black fetish-wear.