There was joy at the news that the BBC had made available a series of the greatest films of all time in their new ‘Silver Screen Classics’ category.
However, that joy soon turned to fury as it became apparent that the new category didn’t include Patrick Swayze’s 1989 zen-master bouncer classic Road House.
“I was so impressed to see that BBC had made some of the greatest films of all-time available for free!” said film fan Kelly Grace.
“I started scrolling through them because, if there’s a list of the greatest films of all time, I know which one I’m watching first – Citizen Kane, Top Hat, King Kong. I mean, all the big ones are there.
“But then, I got to the end of the list and I couldn’t believe it – No Road House.
“It’s an absolute disgrace. I immediately pushed my television out of the window and set fire to my TV licence.”
BBC mandarins were mealy-mouthed in their apology.
“Look, the ‘Silver Screen Classics’ are all films from RKO studios. I mean, yes, RKO made some of the greatest films ever, but that’s not the point. This is a range of RKO films from the 30s and 40s,” gibbered BBC apologist Stewart James.
“It would make no thematic sense to include Road House.”
However, despite his protestations, Mr James did his best to try and make it up with all rightly outraged film fans.
“Look, we can’t get the rights to Road House straight away. It’s on Netflix, I think. But we’ve got both Tomb Raiders available? The classic ones, with Angelina Jolie? Will that do?”
And despite them also outrageously not being included in the ‘Silver Screen Classics’ range, Ms Grace was placated.
“Both Tomb Raiders, you say? Fair enough,” she said, generously.
“Can’t help wishing I hadn’t pushed my telly out the window now.”
Weekend Film Guide – No Road House though, so what’s the point.
Be the first to comment