Confirmed! New Call of Duty to focus on men shooting other men with guns

The new Call of Duty game will be based almost entirely around men shooting other men with guns, it was confirmed yesterday.

Activision made the announcement after leaks spread across the internet throughout last week suggesting that this new instalment would place a heavy emphasis on some men shooting some other men with guns.

What was unclear was quite how much focus would be placed on men shooting other men with guns and from the Activision statement, that question appears to have been answered – a lot!

“I can confirm that the newest instalment of Call of Duty will be entirely based around men shooting other men with guns,” said Activision spokesperson Kelly Grace.

“There will be no flower arranging, water-skiing or nuanced debate – it will be all men shooting other men with guns.

“There will be different modes and different locations, but everything will be based around that core mechanic of men shooting other men with guns.”

Fans were relieved.

“No, this is definitely brilliant news,” said Vaino III, King of Finland and avid gamer.

“I’d been worried that after fifteen years of Call of Duty games that all feature men shooting other men with guns, that might decide to make a new Call of Duty game that featured something other than men shooting other men with guns.

“Baking, perhaps.

“I’m not saying I wouldn’t give it a go, but to be honest, I’m pleased it’s men shooting other men with guns.”

The revelation came just a few short weeks after similar internet rumours forced EA to confirm that the next instalment in its popular FIFA franchise will feature men trying to kick balls into other men’s goals.