“I mean, I did have the opportunity to quietly arrest him and set in motion an intricate and complicated trial that could take place over the course of a year and ultimately end in justice prevailing. Or we could have a big fight to see who’s best.” […]
“The chances of making it as a professional arm-wrestler in the eighties were a million-to-one, so I gave up my dream and settled on being a Hollywood megastar instead.” […]
An older, wiser Michael Corleone travels back into to the events of the first film and tries to set the younger Michael on a straighter path. […]
So, I’m walking to the cinema, pretty excited to see Gerard Butler punch weather in the face, and it totally starts raining, and I think ‘woah.’ […]
Martin Lee Jones of Basildon, Essex was discovered in a Wetherspoons wearing a bowling shirt over a tight white t-shirt and chewing a toothpick. […]
“I don’t understand why Royal Mail won’t do them. I mean, stamps with Eric Idle and Robbie Coltrane on them? Dressed as nuns? Who wouldn’t want to receive a letter with Eric Idle or Robbie Coltrane dressed as nuns on the stamp? […]
In fact, I was deep-sea fishing with her only recently. I don’t think many people realise that Jennifer is a cod enthusiast and, more than anything else, she enjoys just getting away from Hollywood life on a simple trawler. […]
“Then Rocky makes his comeback in boxing despite being 70 and, okay get this, he gets to the World finals of Boxing, but the same day, he can fly out to Syria and have a boxing match with Islamic State’s number one boxer.” […]
“Yeah, I mean, really it’s a coincidence because I had an idea for a scary clown picture long before ‘It’ was a success,” said Stephen Barker, director of ‘That’ – a 2018 film that pitches a scary clown against a plucky gang of kids.” […]
New Dolly Grip Samuel L Liotta continued, “So great to join this team! I’m sure no-one will notice the changes and we’ll be just as successful as the previous lot were.” He immediately left to work on the new Siobhan Doherty biopic. […]
The wild pokemon are emptying bins across the streets, digging up plants, chewing on hosepipes, stealing cars, hogging the slide in the park, hacking into Wi-Fi, and keeping Ed Sheeran in the charts. […]
The sun turned a peculiar red colour at around lunchtime on Monday, leading many to assume that it was, in fact, the end of the world, and resort to an orgy of sex, violence and board games in the streets before the sky went back to normal and everyone shuffled back to work feeling a little embarrassed and trying not to catch each other’s eye. […]
The film will most likely take place in a dusty town in the south of the US and will and feature a 90-minute guitar solo for the soundtrack. […]
From out of the dark steps a black-clad man, the rain beating off his helmet. […]
“I don’t know, it looks like the only place an honest American sex-pest can get a job is in White House, so I guess I may run for President.” […]
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