‘The Great Replacement Bus Service Robbery’ will be based loosely on the events of the actual 1963 crime, but will re-imagine the farcical events that take place when the criminal masterminds have to improvise after the locomotive they were hoping to burglarise is replaced by a coach. […]
“Well, obviously I’m a huge fan. I mean, I’ve never read any of his books, but that clown picture made lots of money.” […]
“This Halloween season, why not surprise and delight your friends with our sexy Andrei Rublev costume. It’s Andrei, but sexy.” […]
“Boobs, swearing and violence are just really popular.” […]
“It was fascinating, Harvey gave Mr Humphries a fantastic sense of repressed Catholic guilt and explosive rage.” […]
“If you’d have asked me before, I’d have said that a tentacle growing out of someone’s head wouldn’t really be very attractive, but with that Justin Timberlake, I don’t know – he really carried it off.” […]
Following the usual nonsense claiming that the purchase of a mobile phone will be the gateway to a lifetime of hand-gliding, snowboarding, and sex with attractive young people the film begins, and it is my duty to report to you that it is a masterpiece. […]
The Sixth Sense star popped to the shop where he didn’t so much see dead people as he saw baking people who were happy to provide him with a freshly baked loaf. […]
I’d been totally looking forward to checking this flick out too, I mean – Thor Ragnarok – we finally get to find out what Thor’s surname is. It’s, like, totally the mystery of everything. […]
50 Shades of Pie will be based on a passionate and unconventional love-affair between the son of the factory owner and a young girl on the factory floor who picks the flies out of the pastry. […]
There will also be a cheap looking ‘retro’ styled RPG that you will put in your library but probably won’t bother downloading. […]
Barrel-scraper Man is an ordinary man who, after accidentally ingesting the scrapings from the bottom of the barrel, develops powers that make him able to scrape the bottom of a barrel for any old rubbish. […]
“It kind of smelled of cheese, but a nice cheese, you know? A brie or maybe an aged cheddar. There was also hints of rain hitting the pavement and rosehip. I guess that must be what space smells like.” […]
“If that Jodie Whittaker backs up the lavvy, and I’m her companion, then I can deal with it in a discrete and efficient manner.” […]
“If there’s one thing that Walking Dead has really focused on, it’s a realistically brutal post-apocalyptic nightmare of survival amongst the undead. Which is great, but I do think that it means we’ve been forced to overlook the slapstick humour that the show’s been crying out for.” […]
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