It will be set in a laboratory with a gang of hapless sex-starved scientists all trying to come up with a cure for smallpox which has been reintroduced into the population by radical environmental terrorists. […]

“People demand a wider range of snacks at the cinema because for some reason it’s impossible to go 90 minutes without putting something in your mouth,” […]

“We tried to work one into Two Days, Two Nights, but the when you’re dealing with a depressed woman’s struggle to keep her job, a fart joke can really spoil the tension.” […]

“Tom Hanks seems to have a great attitude of love for all people and he was in Sleepless in Seattle so who better to lead your religion.” […]

40% of all the films in 2026 and beyond will be Spiderman reboots, and 60% will feature either Robert Downey Jnr or one of his many clones. […]

“It’s definitely not autobiographical, it’s an entirely fictional story about a lawyer who writes novels,” confirmed the lawyer who writes novels. […]

“Avatar 3 is going to be insane. It’ll be full of crazy stuff we can’t even conceive of like talking dogs or upside-down houses.” […]

“I can f**king confirm that Mr f**king Tarantino ran out of mother**king milk at f**king 7.15 this morning.” […]

An existential arthouse work, it will feature a miner slowly questioning his sanity as his mine fills with surreal items like tractors, toilets and Ronnie Corbett’s face. […]

Mog, an ordinary cat, is bitten by a radioactive dog from space and develops dog-like powers such as barking, fetching sticks, and eating more than it really needs. […]