Movie History – A comprehensive history of things that definitely happened.
From the birth of cinema in the ancient Egyptian era to the time Star Wars was set ‘last week, just around the corner.’
“Both Hugh Grant and Colin Firth have denied betraying her, but we are fairly certain it was one of them. It would explain the lack of chemistry in the finished film.”
[…]
We spread the sand across Essex, the village of Ingatestone doubled for Aqaba, and we had a thoroughly convincing Arabian desert a short commute from London with ready access to sandwiches, a nice pint and people who spoke English. […]
“We had sets for about six different plays set up in the main display area and actors would play short scenes from the plays continuously. People could pop in and watch the scenes and decide which plays to take home with them.” […]
“Leg-stretching, skin-dying, skull-reshaping – four hours in the morning, four in the evening, but it was worth it, I guess.” […]
On screen the words that have become synonymous with adventure and excitement – ‘A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away’ – appeared. At the same time, a single kazoo parped out the famous B major of the Star Wars theme.
[…]
“In my head, Indiana Jones was always Sexy Hat-man. That was the essence of the character – he was sexy and he wore a hat. Why would he be called anything else?” […]
The show was considered a hit with Variety describing Crystal’s opening monologue, which riffed heavily on Jaws, as ‘hilarious.’ […]
“You’d pop into to White Horse for a quick pint and there’d be Michael Douglas at the bar, getting a round in for his famous mates – always cocktails – could take half an hour sometimes. Git.” […]
“But she was too good, her psychic messaging was so strong that not only did she secure a nomination for best actress, but for best supporting actor, best foreign language film, and best song.” […]
The director had made the controversial decision to use real dinosaurs in his new film after it became apparent that modern CGI just wasn’t up to the task of rendering convincing dinosaurs. […]
The man crushes his cigar under his boot and growls ‘Rosebud, bitch.’ […]
“As I was eating this disappointing pancake it just hit me – what this pancake needs is a weird crispy coating like a fish finger.” […]
A story was developed about Uncle Albert being possessed by a demon and Delboy and Rodney accidentally selling the amulet to reverse the curse down the market. […]
The door flies open. Dr Malcolm and the velociraptor lock eyes. There is a brief pause, heightened by a clear sexual tension. […]
Sighing, Mad Max put all thoughts of the apocalypse from his mind and walked up to the pier to play on the 2p coin pushers. […]
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