I’ve known Will ever since we worked together on an adaptation of King Lear played entirely by children. Like Bugsy Malone but with more eye-gouging and dementia.
Quentin Tarantinto is no stranger to bold casting decisions, having reignited the careers of Pamela Greer, John Travolta, and David Carradine, however the rumoured choice for a lead in his new film is his wildest choice yet – cuddly British seventies comic Eddie Large.
Since the trailer was released earlier, men and women all over the world have found love in their heart, joy and happiness has spread through all peoples, and Mrs Walpole of Bridlington, Yorkshire has found the keys she lost last Thursday.
“If I see Kevin MacCallister hit that man in the face with an iron again, I’m going to scream.”
Many people would have hoped that the first piece of global legislation would be a restriction on the use of landmines or universal provision of malaria medicine but the Stranger Things spoilers problem was seen as the single most pressing global issue today.
“You don’t get to see absolutely everything but I bet you do in the actual film. I bet they have it off loads and you end up seeing her boobs and bum and everything.”
The rumoured plot features a previously undiscovered island on which a deranged John Hammond started to genetically engineer hundreds of different strands of Jeff Goldblum.
His secret shame was to be revealed in the Sunday newspapers the next morning. That the teenage acting sensation Rupert Grint was actually a 48 year old man.
It’s not funny but, it’s not supposed to be. There’s no, like, cute but wise talking animals either. It’s a totally weird cartoon.
Paddington Bear is the hottest movie bear since that one that beat up Leonardo Dicaprio in The Revenant, with his latest film riding high in the charts and a highly publicised romance with co-star Hugh Bonnville, the Peruvian superstar seems to have it all, but rumours reach me that all may not be well.