Doing Science with Will Smith

will smith

Sheridan Monkhouse is director of classics such as Hellmare, Platinum Desire, and The Canine Dimension. He writes exclusively for Screen Idle

I recently found myself watching Men In Black, which not only features some genuinely outstanding and hilarious work from the excellent Will Smith, but is all based on a true story. A fictional true story, of course, but a true story nonetheless.

I’ve known Will ever since we worked together on an adaptation of King Lear played entirely by children. Like Bugsy Malone but with more eye-gouging and dementia.

Sadly, the picture never came off but happily we became close friends. He really is outstanding. I think many people will be familiar with his charity work, but what people don’t realise is the size of Will Smith’s contribution to science.

We were hot-air ballooning recently and I pressed him for his scientific achievements and his answer was staggering. He cloned a sheep, invented Viagra, and has developed such an accomplished cloaking system that he can no longer find it.

He helped construct the Large Hadron Collider, then the lesser-known Medium Hadron Collider and recently completed work on the Small Hadron Collider for home-use.

He is currently working on an artificial intelligence so advanced that it can understand the entire plot of Lost.

I think it’s fair to say that if not for Will Smith, humankind would be in the scientific dark ages. However, if that had meant a few more series of Fresh Prince of Bel Air then perhaps that would be a price worth paying

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