According to a leak from Bethesda, Elder Scrolls VI is now so far off its eventual release date that the release of the Elder Scrolls VI remastered edition will actually precede it.
According to the release timeline, Elder Scrolls VI is scheduled for 203X, whereas Elder Scrolls VI remastered edition is scheduled for 2029, just after Fallout: Doncaster.
“We knew that Elder Scrolls VI was a long way off,” said blogger Stewart James.
“But to see this timeline and to see its expected release actually arrive after its remaster is a blow. I mean, remastered version of games are fine but they rarely capture the magic of the original, do they? They’re just a bit of a cash-in based on the nostalgia of the players who find that it never really lives up to the memories of the original experience.
“In this case, they will never have even had that original experience, so you’d imagine it will all prove quite hollow. Still, I suppose you’ll be able to download a new pair of armoured trousers for free that you’d have had to forge from the skin off a dragon’s bum in the original game, which is something I suppose.”
Fans were confused by the news.
“Not sure how to feel about a remaster of a game I haven’t played yet,” tweeted @sexykhajiitass
“I mean, I’d usually only spend money on a remaster if I really enjoyed the original but, with this, I won’t know if I’ll have enjoyed the original until years after the remaster is out.
“Still, I suppose I’ll be able to get it cheap in a sale by then, though.”
As well as the Elder Scrolls VI remastered edition revelation, the leak revealed the existence of Dishonored: Pinball, and untitled Doom-themed city builder and, most unlikely of all, RAGE 3.
Some links to other bits of the blog that you’ll love*…
*Alright, perhaps ‘love’ is pushing it, maybe ‘be mildly diverted by’
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Next film may feature punching, teases coy Jason Statham
World’s most punchy man Jason Statham has teased fans by coyly hinting that his next film may feature punching.
The film, called Punchy the Punchman does some Punching, will go into production after his hugely anticipated shark-punching movie The Meg.
“Punching? Well, I can neither confirm nor deny that Punchy the Punchman does some Punching features any punching,” said Jason, with a knowing smile.
“Obviously, I don’t want to give anything away, but I think it’s fair to say that if you like punching then, well, Punchy may well be something you want to keep your eye on.”
Statham fans, or ‘normal people’ as they’re sometimes known, were hopeful that this is a signal that there will be some punching.
“Oh wow, I really hope this means that there’s punching. I love punching,” said an enthusiastic Dwayne Diesel, who loves Jason Statham and punching more than anything.
“I mean, he didn’t say that there wasn’t going to be any punching, did he? That’s got to be a good sign.
“Oh god, I really, really hope there’s punching.”
Punchy the Punchman does some Punching will be released next year, and fans eager to find out if it contains any punching will just have to wait and see.
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