The makers of Nintendo’s hit Animal Crossing: New Horizons have come in for criticism for including a cover of NWA’s controversial ‘F*** tha Police’ in KK Slider’s setlist.
“I was pretty shocked,” explained mum of two Kelly Grace.
“I’d just finished a day of home-schooling, and had settled the kids in front of the Switch while I got stuck into a cheap litre bottle of Lambrusco to try and take the edge off.
“I was just getting a good buzz on when I heard the kids shouting, you know, ‘eff the police,’ so I went to see what was going on. I assumed they’d put on the new HBO children’s programming, but no! It was Animal Crossing!
“There was this dog on the screen, with gang colours wrapped round his head and a gun in one hand, and he was singing that song, and two lady dogs with unrealistically large bosoms were dancing next to him. In a game for kids!
“Well, I immediately confiscated the game. There’s no way I’m letting them play that again. They can go back to Grand Theft Auto instead.”
Nintendo appeared surprised by the criticism.
“We wanted to include a couple of covers in the mix as a bit of a special treat,” said Nintendo representative Stewart James.
“NWA were a terrific group that really changed the face of Hip Hop. Through them, the whole genre became a vessel for the anger and frustration of millions of young black Americans.
“So, obviously we were going to use one of their songs for KK Slider.”
Mr James admitted that he was now a little concerned about some of the other choices they’d made of songs for KK Slider to cover.
“Killing in the Name and Darling Nikki. They’ll be alright, won’t they? And Slayer’s Angel of Death. I hope no one gets upset by that, because KK really shreds on it.”
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Fantasy fans excited to find out what this ‘Lord of the Rings’ thing is that’s coming to Amazon
Fantasy fans are looking forward to finding out a little more about a mysterious new property called ‘Lord of the Rings,’ that will soon come to Amazon.
The streaming giant has taken a huge gamble in investing in the little-known story and fans are curious.
“Well, I should imagine that it’ll be about some sort of Lord,” said fantasy fan Sam Took.
“A Lord who has some rings? Perhaps a jeweller? A magic jeweller, that’s got to be it.”
“Or, perhaps the Rings are metaphorical. Or the Lord is. Or the jeweller. I don’t know, it’s quite exciting.”
Mr Took was quick to commend Amazon.
“I’m really excited to see Amazon go out on a limb with such a low-profile fantasy offering. It’s brilliant, such a bold move.”
“I mean, there’s loads and loads of great fantasy stories out there, and you’d imagine that they’d do something really obvious like, I don’t know, Mistborn or Tales of Earthsea.
“You know, something they could just milk for all the money in the world, but kudos to them for sticking their neck out on this magic ringlord thing.”
It is also understood that Amazon have got their eyes on other little-known properties such as an espionage series about a British agent called James Bond, a superhero story about some kind of jungle cat, and an exciting-looking piece of science-fiction about some wars that happen in the stars.
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