Defenders of the second amendment were celebrating at the announcement that Tom Nook will be opening a dedicated guns and ammunition store on Animal Crossing Island.
Nook’s Guns and Ammunition will provide weapons to the player and other islanders for personal protection or sports-use.
Stewart James is a second amendment-nut and Animal Crossing fan.
“Well, it’s about damn time,” he said.
“What those pencil-dick, pussy-ass liberals don’t understand is that the second amendment applies to all fictional places in the US. Probably. I mean, I haven’t looked it up but if it doesn’t, it should.
“So, that means that if the little gorilla guy who likes working out in Animal Crossing wants to own a gun then it’s his God-given right to do so.
“And you know what? That gun store will work out as protection for the whole island as well, because if the King of England decides he wants to send his Navy over and invade that Animal Crossing island then they’ll be able to form a local armed militia to defend themselves because that’s what the constitution is all about. Hell, yeah! God Bless Animal Crossing! U-S-A! U-S-A!”
In order to unlock Nook’s Guns and Ammunition, the player will need to pay Tom Nook 500,000 bells and select the best plot of land on the island for a gun store.
Once built, players and other characters will be able to by any gun of their choosing by filling in a permit stating which house they live in and then waiting 24 hours. There will also be the option to waive the 24-hour waiting period by paying Tom Nook 5,000 bells.
The new guns and ammunition store appears to have arrived at the right time, as many experts predict that gun crime on Animal Crossing island is about to dramatically increase.
At almost the exact time that the new guns and ammunition store opens.
Some links to other bits of the blog that you’ll love*…
*Alright, perhaps ‘love’ is pushing it, maybe ‘be mildly diverted by’
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Want to impress friends with your superior film knowledge? You’ll be wanting the Fun Facts page.
Or, if links aren’t your thing, here’s an old article you might like…
New superhero film Barrel-scraper Man currently shooting
Exciting news for superhero fans as it is revealed that a brand-new superhero is coming in a new film.
Barrel-scraper Man is an ordinary man who, after accidentally ingesting the scrapings from the bottom of the barrel, develops powers that make him able to scrape the bottom of a barrel for any old rubbish.
“Yeah, we’re real excited about Barrel-scraper Man,” said director McSchnieder.
“I mean, a new superhero film about a man who can really, really scrape the bottom of the barrel is something that people will go and watch.
“I mean, they might not want to or anything but, you know, we had Ant-man, so I think it’s pretty clear that if a picture’s got a superhero in it then they’ll go and see it.”
Although plot details are unconfirmed, the rumour is that Barrel-scraper man finds out that no one has any ideas left and so, after being imbued with powers that allow him to scrape the bottom of a barrel, spends the entire film scraping the bottom of numerous barrels trying to find an idea.
It is expected that, as Barrel-scraper Man is a superhero film, it will inexplicably make a squillion dollars at the box-office and the public can look forward to at least two more Barrel-scraper Man films during the course of the next three years, before a break of eighteen months or so and then a reboot of the much-loved franchise with a whole new cast.
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