Wellness guru and humble movie star Gwyneth Paltrow shares this exclusive health tip with Screen Idle.
Hi, I’m Gwyneth Paltrow. As star of the three hugely popular Iron-Man films, I’m definitely the best person to listen to about vaginal health.
The key to good vaginal health is regular cleansing, and did you know that you don’t have to purchase expensive vaginal cleansing kits but can use everyday household items to keep your vagina fresh and clean, here’s a few I use.
1, The hoover.
Many people don’t realise that the brush attachment on the hoover is actually designed solely for vaginal-cleansing. Simple attach the brush attachment, switch the hoover on, and stick it up your skirt. Although a hoover will not provide a deep vaginal cleanse, for a quick and simple daily cleanse it is ideal.
A word of warning though, no matter how uncleansed your vagina is, do not attempt to hoover it without the brush attachment as it could suck your runic chakra from your body.
2, A BLT sandwich.
A delicious way to cleanse your vagina is with a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich from Pret. Simply take one half of the BLT and rub it all over your vagina, following the natural circular chi-energy-lines of your body.
The bacon will scrape the dead bacteria from your vagina whilst the mayonnaise will give an effective vaginal remoisturisation.
As an indulgent treat, why not eat the other half of the BLT whilst carrying out your cleansing regime.
3, A priceless Faberge Egg.
Like many people, I’ve often admired the beauty of priceless Faberge Eggs, but have long wondered if they serve any practical purpose.
Then I stuck one up my vagina.
It won’t be for everyone, but I found the cleansing nature of the Faberge Egg to be wonderfully restorative to my wellness aura.
I hope that I’ve shown how simple vaginal-hygiene can be and that you will never again have to rely on your own body to keep your vagina well and truly cleansed.
Next time, Gwyneth returns to tell you how to cleanse your anus with a left-over Sunday Roast, an axe, and a 1976 Mini Cooper.
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