14th member of gang for Oceans 14 to be Ian Beale from Eastenders

Oceans 14 has been confirmed, with George Clooney, Brad Pitt and Julia Roberts all returning. But the 14th member of the gang in the new film has raised some eyebrows – it’s Ian Beale from BBC1’s Eastenders.

“I’ve wanted to work with Adam [Woodyatt] for many years,” explained Clooney.

“So, when we started talking seriously about another Oceans picture, the character of Ian Beale was the only choice for the 14th member of the gang.”

The Danny Ocean/Eastenders crossover was simple enough to engineer due to Don Cheadle’s convincing portrayal of a cockney man.

“Yeah, it seemed logical that with Don being a convincing cockney man, he probably knew some other cockney men – like Ian Beale.”

The new film will see the gang attempt to break into an underwater, electrified, invisible safe 500 metres underground in central Las Vegas. The big problem? It’s going to take a long time and the’ll need someone to provide drinks and catering at a reasonable cost.

“Cor blimey, luv-a-duck, strike-a-light, me old china dinner plate,” exclaims Don Cheadle’s Bashar Tarr, “me old cockney chum from the blitz – Ian Beale – he runs a Colonel Gaddafi [cockney rhyming slang for ‘cafe’] in the East End. He’ll be able to keep us going with Ruby Murrys [curries] and cups of Rosie.”

Following news of his casting, Adam Woodyatt is finally set to take Hollywood by storm. There are rumours of upcoming roles in Masters of the Universe and The Odyssey, potentially replacing Mahershala Ali in Blade and, if the gossip columnists are to be believed, a romance with Ana de Armas.

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