The time a cinema was staffed with dogs to save money

A long line of families and couples stretch down through the High Street.

This summer sun is dipping low in the sky and spirits are high as the final part of George Lucas’s Star Wars trilogy makes its debut today and fans will finally get to see if Princess Leia falls in love with scoundrel Han Solo or brother Luke Skywalker.

The doors open and people begin to make their way to the ticket office.

But the ticket office isn’t staffed by an old lady with a smoker’s cough, as is cinema tradition, but instead is staffed by a large, friendly Alsatian called ‘Wolfie.’

“Yes, it was Dad’s idea to replace the staff with dogs,” said Mark Ford, whose father ran the ABC in Brentwood, Essex.

“The regular staff were quite surly and wanted paying and time off and the like, so Dad decided to replace the staff with dogs instead.”

“In many ways, it really, really worked. The dogs were friendly, excited to be around the customers, never wanted time off and were happy to be paid in bone-shaped biscuits.”

The small two-screen cinema had a staff of five dogs – Wolfie in the ticket office, a Schnauzer selling popcorn and coke, and three Jack Russells were ushers.

However, there was a problem

“Well, yes, I mean obviously, there was a problem. The dogs had no concept of money, basic food hygiene or what films are. They’re dogs for heaven sake. It was mad.”

Ultimately, the cinema was force to re-employ human staff after Wolfie just barked happily instead of providing customers with tickets, the Schanuzer gorged itself on popcorn and the three Jack Russells defecated throughout the auditoriums.

“Yeah, we encouraged Dad to take a more hands-off approach to the cinema after that,” remembered Mr Ford.

The cinema continued successfully for many years with a human staff, but for that one evening in 1983, people were able to experience the terrifying reality of what life would be like if dogs were the equals of human beings in society.