Review – Sherlock Gnomes

So, yeah, it’s a totally important film that will open everyone’s eyes to the horror of life in the gnome community.

I don’t know, man. I totally wasn’t into going to see this movie because, you know, I’m a serious reviewer who likes totally highbrow stuff like Crouching Tiger, Hidden Thing and anything where Russell Crowe does an accent. This was, like, a film for kids…

Or so I thought.

It starts off and there’s these gnomes, and they’re having a laugh and that and I’m all, like, yeah whatever.

But then, it turns out that gnomes are being kidnapped, and it’s totally harrowing. You can just be a gnome, just totally sitting there, you know, doing fishing or just maybe cheekily showing your arse, and someone can come along and kidnap you.

Just rip you away from your family and pond and little mushroom house. It’s brutal, man. Brutal.

I mean, I had no idea that this was going on, man. This film has totally opened my eyes to what gnomes have to go through, like, constantly living in fear.

And no one’s doing anything about this. No one cares, man. There should be some sort of gnome task force in place but there isn’t because, you know what? That’s what life in Britain in 2018 is like.

So, yeah, in the film there’s this dude called Sherlock Gnomes who totally sorts it all out, but he’s, like, a fictional character. What about real life. Who’s going to help the gnomes?

We need to look after the gnomes, man, because gnomes are people too

Screen Idle star rating ***** – save the Gnomes, man. All of them.