There was disappointment at the announcement that planned HBO remake of classic eighties David Jason sitcom Only Fools and Horses, featuring full-frontal nudity and swearing, has been cancelled.
The big-budget remake had been set to star Christian Slater as DelBoy and a hot chick with no bra as his younger sister Rhonda.
The role of Uncle Albert had yet to be cast, but there were rumours that Bruce Willis had been circling the role and that rather than being an ex-Naval Midshipman, Albert would have been an unhinged hitman for the mob.
“It’s a damn shame,” said Stewart James, a producer attached to the remake.
“The remake of Only Fools and Horses could have been a classic HBO property. We had a whole bunch of nudity and swearing lined up, and that was a really hot chick with no bra.
“There was a season-long arc about the chick with no bra descending into drug addiction and prostitution, and Delboy, under instruction from the insane Albert, laying waste to the city’s underbelly in an orgy of gun-violence in order to rescue his sister, and then hilariously fall through a bar.
“Which is pretty much the plot of the classic BBC episode Yuppie Love.”
It is currently unknown exactly why the plans for the remake had collapsed but rumours seem to indicate that it was because the whole thing was ‘completely f**king ridiculous.’
There was better news for fans of classic sitcom The Good Life, however, as the HBO remake has begun filming with a scene featuring Sean William Scott and Halle Berry, both completely naked, as Tom and Barbara arguing about the ‘f**king marrows’ before shooting the goat in the face.
Some links to other bits of the blog that you’ll love*…
*Alright, perhaps ‘love’ is pushing it, maybe ‘be mildly diverted by’
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Want to impress friends with your superior film knowledge? You’ll be wanting the Fun Facts page.
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The Wire to return to explore the world of Baltimore Dungeons and Dragons
In a surprising move, David Simon is returning to his legendary series The Wire to produce a sixth season focusing on Baltimore’s thriving Dungeons and Dragons scene.
The Wire initially focused on a police department’s attempts to arrest a drugs gang, but then its scope expanded to examine politics, education, and journalism.
However, many people have thought that not including the same forensic examination of the city’s Dungeons and Dragons scene was a mistake.
“Yeah, I guess we dropped the ball on that one,” said Mr Simon, sheepishly.
“I mean, you want to really lay bare modern America, you need really get under the skin of a city’s Dungeons and Dragons scene.”
The season will focus on a group of Dungeons and Dragons enthusiasts who fall upon corruption in a local tourney and are faced with the dilemma of exposing the wrongdoing, and fatally damaging the credibility of the aging fantasy game, leading to the possibility or Warhammer taking it over as the leader fantasy game in the Baltimore area.
Alternatively, they keep quiet about the corruption, forever tainting Dungeons and Dragons for themselves.
“Yeah, it’s basically a metaphor for America,” continued Mr Simon
“But with loads of swearing.”
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