Good God, woman, this is no time for sitting about! It’s the weekend! And that can only mean one thing – It’s time to sit about.
While you’re doing so, why not watch these great films.
Friday
A View to a Kill ITV4 20.00
James Bond saves the world by getting off with sexy ladies and, improbably, not dislocating his hip. Oh James.
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey Film4 21.00
Dwarves kidnap hobbit after staging home invasion and singing at him.
Solaris Sony Movies 18.55
George Clooney mopes about in space.
Fact: George Clooney, like dogs, can’t look up.
Saturday
The Sting ITV4 13.00
Biography of lead singer of The Police (the band, not the crime fighting force).
Home Alone 2: Lost in New York Film4 15.55
Spring has sprung, flowers in bloom, lawnmowers gently humming. What better time to enjoy this evergreen Christmas classic?
Go home Film4, you’re drunk.
The Day After Tomorrow 5* 21.00
America gets invaded by weather. Dennis Quaid plays a man who inexplicably walks across weathery America because his son is trapped in a library. None of it makes any sense and the wolf effects look like I did them.
Cracking movie.
Sunday
What Women Want Channel 5 15.30
Mel Gibson can read minds and discovers what women want. Apparently not being called ‘sugar t*ts’ is pretty high on the list.
The Three Musketeers Sky One 19.00
Apparently, Alexandre Dumas wanted to put a giant steam powered flying ship in the book but was worried it might turn out to be completely stupid. This film doesn’t share that worry.
Robin Hood Sony Movies 21.00
Russell Crowe gives career-best performance as an Australian man utterly bemused by English accents.
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