A bold new Guardian article has just been published which consists of a long list of films with ‘that’s rubbish’ written next to each one.
In order to break up the monotony of someone repeatedly telling you that films you like are rubbish, some films, like Gladiator and Something about Mary have ‘boring, tedious rubbish’ written next to them.
The Star Wars films are all labelled as ‘unrealistic rubbish that would never happen.’
Some Bergman and Tarkovsky films have been listed with the writer labelling them ‘boring, overly-simplistic rubbish that someone as clever as me finds a bit dull.’
The article’s sole purpose appears to be to get people to read it, decide that it’s not a very good article and then share it in order to show your friends how not very good an article it is and therefore garner clicks and views for not being very good. This would seem like a fairly low bar for most people but then, most people don’t work at the Guardian.
“Not the toughest job I’ve ever done,” explained Stewart James, the person who constructed the article.
“Just picked a bunch of films at random off IMDB and then copy/pasted ‘that’s rubbish’ down the list. Was pretty much finished in time for the Scotland game. What a goal from the Czech Republic!”
The only redeeming feature of the entire article is that it will hopefully spell the end of the boring, lazy series of articles in which a clever-arse writer picks a film at random and bangs out 500 words on how it’s a load of old balls and how everyone who likes it must be a big thickie.
Some links to other bits of the blog that you’ll love*…
*Alright, perhaps ‘love’ is pushing it, maybe ‘be mildly diverted by’
Want to know what’s on telly this weekend? No problem, click on this Weekend Film Guide
Want to impress friends with your superior film knowledge? You’ll be wanting the Fun Facts page.
Or, if links aren’t your thing, here’s an old article you might like…
Studio executive has moment of pure joy at thought of Harry Potter/Hobbit/Star Wars crossover
A studio executive has told of the moment of brief but total joy he experienced as he contemplated the possibility of a Harry Potter/Hobbit/Star Wars crossover.
“It was the number of screens you could open on, the number of people who would come and see it and, oh dear god the merchandising rights would be unimaginable,” said executive Dwayne Murray.
“I mean, don’t get me wrong. We’d never be able to pull it off. But I genuinely don’t think I’ve ever felt such a moment of true happiness as the moment the concept of those three films crossing over came to me.”
“Forget a trilogy, you could start out with an octopology, easy.”
Mr Murray attempted to describe what pure joy felt like
“My god what a feeling, this must have been what it was like for Michelangelo as he finished the Sistine Chapel. It was like the sun rose inside me and choirs of angels sung as nature itself held me in her arms.”
“The only feeling that ever came close was when I first heard I’m In The Mood For Dancing by the Nolans.
After hearing the suggestion that they could further increase the potency of the crossover by having them all drive muscle cars and have Vin Diesel and The Rock call each other family throughout, Mr Murray made a low grunting noise and excused himself to change his underwear.
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