Henry Cavill is currently working with a dialect coach in order to develop his French accent to play a Scotsman in the proposed Highlander reboot.
Connor MacLeod is a 500-year-old Scottish swordsman in Highlander lore, and so Cavill knows his French accent will have to be suitably convincing.
“Good Moaning,” said Cavill, “I have some good nose. I am to bean in ze Highlander reshoe.
“As you can tell, I have been working on my French accent for the role of Connor MacLeod. It’s not there yet, but it’s coming. It has to be absolutely convincing for the role of an immortal Scotsman or the whole project’s credibility will just fall apart.”
Fans were cautiously pleased about the casting.
“I like Henry Cavill,” tweeted @IveGotABigQuickening, “but I’ve never heard his French accent. If Connor doesn’t have a French accent, then I’m not sure this Highlander reboot will work.”
Highlander lore doesn’t really explain why an Immortal Scottish warrior ended up with a thick French accent, but Highlander expert Stewart James has a theory.
“I think that the times you see Connor onscreen are the only times in his life that he is in Scotland, and whenever he’s offscreen he’s in France,” he said.
“So, He grows up in France and then moves to Scotland for a fight with the Fraser clan, then after his first resurrection, he goes back to France and then returns to Scotland to marry Heather, and so on.
“It’s never explicitly stated that that’s what happens, but there isn’t really any other explanation for that accent.”
It is currently unknown who exactly will be playing Juan Sanchez-Villalobos Ramirez in the Highlander reboot but, as a 3000 -year-old swordsman from Egypt, fans will be expecting a convincing Scottish accent.
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*Alright, perhaps ‘love’ is pushing it, maybe ‘be mildly diverted by’
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Raccoon quits Guardians of the Galaxy franchise
The Marvel Cinematic Universe was left reeling after the racoon who plays Rocket Raccoon sensationally quit the franchise.
The raccoon, known as Dave the raccoon, was increasingly unhappy with his low billing in the credits and being paid in garbage.
“To begin with it was nice,” said Dave the raccoon.
“We were all good friends and Chris, Zoe, Tree man, the wrestler guy and me would all hang out and go for fajitas together.
“But on the second movie Chris and Zoe were big stars and, man, they really acted like it. They just stayed in their trailers and wouldn’t even talk to me. I guess they thought they were better than some raccoon.”
The final straw came Dave the raccoon found out that the human actors were getting paid with actual money and not just a bag of garbage from the alley behind the studio.
“Yeah, that was a rough day. But screw ‘em, I don’t have to take that, so I walked.”
Despite Dave the raccoon having limited acting experience and being a raccoon, he is confident of carving out a career on his own merits.
“Oh sure, I’ll be fine. I’ve got plenty of offers. I’m hoping to talk to Martin Scorsese about working on a project together. It’s exciting, you know?”
Marvel boss Kevin Feige has already announced that, in the next Guardians of the Galaxy movie, Rocket Raccoon will be played a dog with long hair doing an accent.
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