The Mole is Screen Idle’s Hollywood insider, bringing you the latest showbiz gossip
Oscar winner Emma Stone is one of the biggest celebrities in the world, but when she was just a struggling actress hoping for a break, she had one of the most unusual jobs you could imagine.
She was a deadly mercenary for hire.
“Stoney? Yeah, one of the toughest fighters I ever worked with,” said Bruce ‘Rumpus’ Rogers, an Australian gun for hire.
“I saw her take out an outpost with, what, nine blokes? Ten, maybe? These were tough guys as well, real pros.
“Stoney took them out in three minutes using nothing but a gun…no, wait, not a gun. It was a stick. A big stick, but still just a stick. Tough, tough lady.”
The La La Land star came out of drama school in 2004. After starring in an unsuccessful TV pilot, acting jobs were hard to come by, so rather than work in a coffee shop or down a mine, Emma travelled to Iraq, where war still raged, and became a notorious deadly mercenary for hire.
“Yeah, she was all over Iraq, the Middle East, Africa,” remembers Rumpus
“I mean, if you knew what you were doing then you could earn a lot of money and Stoney knew what she was doing, you just ask the Nigeria’s Minister for Foreign Affairs, because when he was coming up back in 2007, he was kidnapped.
“His family were ready to pay a lot of money, I was asked to help but that was a pretty nasty group who’d snatched him, so I said No.
“Stoney went in, got the guy out unharmed before dawn one Monday morning and was back in Hollywood by the evening to audition for that Superbad.”
After winning that role, her acting career really took off and she never again felt the need to fall back on her talents as a deadly mercenary for hire.
“Nah, not seen her again,” confirmed Rumpus.
“Not in a war zone, anyway. Saw her in Birdman though. Thought she was great, the film’s overrated though.”
So, whilst some Hollywood heroes will have to turn to babysitting or mapping the human genome when their star starts to fade, it seems Emma will always have a place in the murky underworlds of the most dangerous places on earth as a deadly mercenary for hire.
Next week I’ll tell you which Hollywood star is a terrifyingly powerful warlock.
Mole out.
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