E3, the LA-based videogame exhibition, will this year focus on switching that damn thing off and going outside and getting some fresh air for a change.
Sponsored by the World Federation of Dads, there will be far-fewer new game announcements and more anecdotes that begin ‘when I was your age, I’d be out on my bike from dawn till dusk.’
“Yes, it’s a different theme we’re going for this year,” said organiser Stewart James.
“But in partnership with the WFD, we’re hoping to have some fascinating symposiums on how to open your curtains to let some damn light in here, and how it’s not healthy to spend all your time in your bedroom like this.”
Some confirmed talks and displays include;
- ‘You’ve got it easy’ – in which a forty-year-old man gives a long rambling, largely unsubstantiated talk on what the world was like twenty years ago.
- ‘You should go fishing or something’ – in which someone who hasn’t been fishing in thirty years extolls the virtues of going fishing.
- ‘They should bring back that Mario Kart’ – several middle-aged men reminiscing about playing Mario Kart in their student days who don’t realise that Mario Kart is still available in various forms now.
- ‘I didn’t have time to play games when I was your age’ – which features a man lying about his teenage social life.
There will also be opportunities to meet representatives from the World Federation of Dads and be told that you’ve got to be weird to want to spend all your time playing games like that.
Also, there’ll be something about the new FIFA.
Some links to other bits of the blog that you’ll love*…
*Alright, perhaps ‘love’ is pushing it, maybe ‘be mildly diverted by’
Want to know what’s on telly this weekend? No problem, click on this Weekend Film Guide
Want to impress friends with your superior film knowledge? You’ll be wanting the Fun Facts page.
Or, if links aren’t your thing, here’s an old article you might like…
Screaming whilst repeatedly firing gun improves accuracy, insists renegade cop
One of America’s top renegade cops has spoken out to defend the practice of screaming whilst repeatedly firing your gun at a suspect.
Sergeant Jack ‘Crazy Jack’ Jackson has insisted that you are definitely more likely to hit the target if you let out an animalistic but manly scream whilst repeatedly firing.
“It’s kind of more of a roar,” said Sgt Jackson after getting his ass chewed out by the Chief for his crazy BS.
“So, the mistake most guys make is that they pull out their piece, calmly try to aim at the guy, and when he’s in their sights, they shoot.”
“That s**t’s for losers,” he scoffed, as he lit a cigarette and downed a tumbler of whisky whilst ignoring his estranged wife who left him for his partner.
“You’re never going to be hitting anything like that. You got to be screaming, firing repeatedly and sometimes coming out of cover to slowly walk towards the perp as you do so.
“It’s lesson number one when you become a renegade cop.”
When challenged that paying attention to lessons didn’t seem like a particularly renegade thing to do, Mr Jackson clarified.
“Hell no. But it’s your old partner and mentor who told you that and then you see him gunned down by some back-alley scumbag, and his schooling comes right back as you repeatedly fire at the scumbag whilst screaming.
“It’s instinct.”
The US is currently trying to recruit more renegade cops as they may not follow rules but, damn it, they get the job done.
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