It’s the weekend! Time to put your plans for terrible and bloody revenge into action. But if that sounds like a lot of work, then why not watch these great films instead.
Friday
Terminator Genisys Film4 23.10
A relentless killing machine comes back from the future to punish film-makers for their terrible spelling.
Star Trek: The Motion Picture Film4 16.05
Ground-breaking, imaginative, classic sci-fi tv improved by making it five hours long and dressing everyone in beige.
Saturday
The Living Daylights ITV 20.00
James Bond saves the world by being Welsh and a bit grumpy
Little Women 47HD (What?) 20.00
Not that little. If anything, they’re normal-sized. Rubbish. Must try harder.
Cocktail 5* 21.00
Tom Cruise throws bottles about for two hours. Fails to pour a decent pint of mild though, so wouldn’t be welcome in my local.
This would make such a good double bill with Road House (What wouldn’t, amirite? But thematically, this would be very satisfying).
Kill Bill: Vol 2 GREAT! Movies 21.00
Angry lady kills everyone because she’s cross that this film isn’t as good as the first one.
Sunday
The Smurfs ITV2 15.50
Horrible little blue bastards terrorise New York. Make your kids watch this if they’ve misbehaved.
Seabiscuit GREAT! Movies 12.15
Disappointing follow up to Chocolate biscuit.
Be the first to comment