It’s the weekend! You could go to Katie’s birthday party but, let’s face it, Katie is dreadful, so just stay in and watch these great films instead.
Friday
Platoon ITV4 23.00
Apparently war isn’t all larks and fun after all. Damn you, Bank Holiday films with overweight British character actors in, how could you lie to us so?
Asteroid vs Earth Horror Channel 13.00
Earth wins in a penalty shootout after extra time.
Left to Die Movies4Men 01.05
Turn right then. Duh.
Saturday
The Departed ITV4 23.00
Everyone betrays everyone else and Marky Mark (sans Funky Bunch) does excellent swearing.
The Hunger Games E4 19.15
The inevitable consequence of four years of a Trump Presidency.
Starship Troopers Sony Movie Channel 21.00
The inevitable consequence of eight years of a Trump Presidency.
Sunday
Kingdom of Heaven Sony Movie Channel 01.05
Vikings or Romans or knights or barbarians. I can’t remember. If you can be bothered with three hours of grumpy men on horses shouting at each other, let me know which it is.
That’s the grumpy men doing the shouting, not the horses.
Biggles: Adventures in Time Movies4Men 13.50
Bloke from 1986 goes back to World War I to help Biggles then Biggles comes back to 1986 to help the bloke.
Back to the Future has a lot to answer for.
Independence Day-saster Horror Channel 15.00
I quit.
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