It’s the weekend! Time to finally get started on building that giant statue of your own face in the front garden. But, if that seems like too much hard work, why not watch these great films instead.
Saturday
ET 5* 17.25
Evil space goblin infiltrates humanity to pave the way for future alien invasion.
PS I Love You 5* 14.50
Romantic drama in which Gérard Butler dies and then kills all the terrorists in heaven to get back to his wife. I mean, I’ve not seen it, but I’d imagine that’s what a Gérard Butler romantic drama looks like.
Mrs Brown’s Boys D’Movie BBC1 22.20
Proof that God hates humanity.
Sunday
An American Werewolf in London True Movies 1 23.00
American werewolf takes holiday in the capital, sees Buckingham Palace, goes to the Tate Gallery, has something inedible in a pub, can’t believe how expensive everything is, stands on the wrong side of the escalators, massacres people.
The China Syndrome Sony Movie Channel 03.25
“Doctor, Doctor, I’ve got this terrible fear of crockery…”
Home Alone 2: Lost in New York E4 18.40
Summer’s here, flowers in bloom, lawnmowers gently humming. What better time to enjoy this evergreen Christmas classic?
Go home E4, you’re drunk.
New at the cinema this weekend
X-Men: Dark Phoenix
Captain Picard goes back in time to recruit Hugh Jackman from the future and Sansa Stark has a strop. Does the X-Men timeline make any kind of sense to anyone any more?
DVD of the weekend
Bram Stoker’s Dracula
As opposed to Fat Barry from the pub’s Dracula.
Transylvanian bloke throws huge strop after girlfriend dies and tortures Keanu Reeves until he stops speaking cockney.
Anthony Hopkins give characteristically restrained performance
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