It’s the weekend! Time to get to work on cloning dinosaurs for your impressive new dinosaur safari park in the shed. But if that sounds like too much bother, just lie on the sofa watching these great films instead.
Saturday
Stand by Me 5* 16.55
Stephen King adaptation starring Wesley Crusher with disappointingly low number of killer clowns.
Despicable Me ITV2 16.20
Meme prequel.
Pride and Prejudice 5Select 12.30
Keira Knightley and bonnets. Will keep your mum off the streets for a couple of hours.
Sunday
Skyfall 20.00 ITV2
James Bond gets off with the sexy ladies and shoots the bad men. Whole thing turns into Home Alone at the end.
The Neverending Story BBC1 15.05
Ends. It’s the lies that hurt.
Cocoon Film4 14.45
Oldiewonks form pact with weird alien pods to try and avoid Steve Guttenberg.
Netflix Film of the Weekend
The Wolf of Wall Street
Too much sniffing cocaine out of people’s bottoms, not enough wolves. Seems popular though, so please yourself.
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