In an announcement that has left fans reeling, it has been confirmed that the sixth and final season of Peaky Blinders will be set in the cyberpunk future Birmingham of 2089.
Following a mid-century ecological catastrophe, Birmingham has become a crime-ridden and lawless place – similar to today, except with cyborgs, robots, and floating virtual reality neon brain-sex cafes.
“It’s important that the Shelbys change and develop each season,” explained creator Steven Knight
“Season 4 saw them take on the mafia, season 5 saw Tommy move into politics, so setting season 6 in a cyberpunk future felt like the natural evolution for the series.”
The season begins with Tommy being taken out of cryogenic suspension by his bother Arthur, who has become an unstable cyborg with a gun for an arm and a red laser for an eye.
During Tommy’s cryogenic stasis, the family crime-businesses have been run by Polly’s brain, suspended in a jar and connected to a powerful computer.
Tommy sets about bringing the cyberpunk Birmingham under his control but when Martians invade to conquer and enslave the human race, the Shelbys find themselves in an unlikely alliance with the police to protect their planet.
All entirely soundtracked by Red Right Hand and a PJ Harvey album track on repeat.
“If there’s one thing I get asked by fans more than anything,” continued Knight,
“It’s how would Tommy and the Peaky Blinders handle a Martian invasion in a cyberpunk future. Well now, I’m pleased to say, they will find out.
“It’s his toughest enemy yet, even tougher than Sam Neill, and humanity is relying on him. But with his strategic street smarts and his background as a soldier in the first world war, maybe he stands a chance.”
Although this has been confirmed as the final Peaky Blinders season, it will be followed by a feature-film entitled Peaky Blinders in Space where the Shelbys roam the galaxy as space-pirates.
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Quentin Tarantino runs out of milk.
There was shock and concern for filmmaker Quentin Tarantino as it was revealed that he had run out of milk.
Reports began to surface from the Tarantino household that something was amiss at around 8am this morning, at first details were sketchy with early some reports suggesting the Pulp Fiction director had been the victim of a highly localised volcano eruption or outbreak of plague.
However, after the initial panic subsided, the reports became less confused and it was clear that the Tarantino crisis was lactose based.
At 10am, a spokesperson for Mr Tarantino appeared.
“I can f**king confirm that Mr f**king Tarantino ran out of mother**king milk at f**king 7.15 this morning.”
“F**k.”
It is thought that without the popular cow-based product Mr Tarantino and his glamourous fiancé Daniella Pick were unable to enjoy their sophisticated Hollywood breakfast of Cheerios mixed with Cap’n Crunch and instead had to settle for a pop-tart that was at the back of the cupboard.
Although the pop-tart had an expiry date of 2019, it was reported to have tasted ‘pretty good, I guess’
Plans are now in motion to bring the milk crisis to an end with Mr Tarantino reportedly placing an order with the local store for some milk and other comestibles.
Initially, there were fears that he’d forgotten to order the organic milk preferred by Ms Pick.
But he hadn’t.
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