It’s the weekend, you could go clubbing, but you’re far too old for that nonsense and there’s nowhere to sit, so why not stay home and watch this great selection of films instead.
Friday
The Wolf of Wall Street Channel 4 23.40
Debauched excess and sniffing cocaine from a prostitute’s bottom. Pretty much a Tuesday lunchtime at Screen Idle HQ.
An American Werewolf in London Film4 01.25
American werewolf visits London, marvels at warm beer, bad teeth, and preoccupation with bangers and mash. Gets shot.
Mermaids Sony Movie Channel 12.45
Cant remember. Bob Hoskins plays a mermaid? Something like that. Resulted in the Shoop song being at number one for ever, so probably best not encouraged.
Saturday
Lethal Weapon ITV4 21.00
Danny Glover too old for this sh*t, fair enough. That ‘This is America’ video was incredible though, so we’ll done.
Burlesque Sony Movie Channel 14.05
Carry on Cher. One of those films that people say is ‘so bad it’s good.’ Those people are idiots. Have nothing to do with them.
The Smurfs ITV2 15.15
I bet stamping on a smurf is the most satisfying thing ever.
Sunday
Field of Dreams Film4 16.45
Kevin Costner builds it. Bloke turns up. Everyone has a big cry.
A Man Called Sledge Movies4Men 23.00
Sledge? I don’t- why sledge? Is Sledge a tough name now? When did that happen?
Boobs Community 23.30
I’m not even kidding. Makes you long for when the weekend was just Tolkien from Friday to Monday.
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