It’s the weekend! Time to bust the old crew out of prison for one last job that could set you all up for life.
But if that sounds like too much hard work then you can watch these great films instead.
Saturday
Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring Channel 5 14.40
Evil hobbits run off with old man’s ring to throw it in some fire.
Ruddy vandals.
Man on Fire Dave 21.00
Sounds painful. He should put some ointment on it.
Moneyball Sony Movies 03.15
Man makes baseball entertaining by adding hard sums.
Sunday
Dances with Wolves Channel 5 14.30
Kevin Costner gets his arse out and dances with a wolf. Kev got his arse out a lot back then. Heady days.
The Martian E4 21.00
Matt Damon grows a potato in space. Less fun than it sounds.
Father of the Bride Sony Movies 14.20
Creepy dad can’t bear the thought of daughter having sexual relationship with another man. Played for laughs rather than the stomach-churning horror it should be.
New at the cinema this weekend
Emma
Remake of Clueless with bonnets and National Trust houses
DVD of the week
Rampage
Government bastards infect wolf, gorilla and Komodo dragon with chemicals that turn them into giants who do a rampage. The Rock duffs everyone up. Second greatest film ever made.
Be the first to comment