CD Projekt’s beleaguered RPG Cyberpunk 2077 has come under fire again, this time it has been branded ‘completely unbelievable’ after a player saw an NPC playing Elder Scrolls 6.
“What, so we’re expected to believe that Elder Scrolls 6 has been released by 2077? Come on,” said Stewart James, who discovered the NPC.
“I mean, that would just never happen. It’s mad. It’s like saying there’s be hyper-intelligent trees or that humans would have returned to an aquatic state and would all live under the sea.
“It might happen at some distant point thousands of years in the future, but by 2077? No way. Completely unrealistic.
“I could maybe buy seeing someone watching another one of those teaser trailers of a big mountain or some snow. But that’s it. If I were them, I’d have put something believable in, like world peace or the complete eradication of man’s inhumanity to man. But expecting us to believe Elder Scrolls 6 has been released is nuts.”
It is not the first time the game has faced criticism from fans. Only a month ago, a bug was discovered that caused players chronic diarrhoea.
Once again, developer Kelly Grace has been forced to defend the game.
“Look, okay, maybe seeing Elder Scrolls 6 by 2077 is a little optimistic,” she admitted.
“But not out of the question? Is it really? I mean, you know, there’s a chance that they could start on it in the next fifty years or so? I know it’s unlikely, but it’s possible.
“I mean, it’s not like we’ve suggested that No Time to Die would have been released or anything.
“That would be utterly ridiculous.”
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*Alright, perhaps ‘love’ is pushing it, maybe ‘be mildly diverted by’
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New Lords of the Rings TV show to have 562 endings and go on until the end of time
Fans of extremely long things about elves have been thrilled with the news that Lord of the Rings is to be adapted for television.
However, as literally every man, woman, and child on the planet went to see Lord of the Rings at the cinema, the television version will be a considerably more expansive affair.
“Okay, so the films, they only had 32 endings, right? Maybe 60-70 in the extended version? Something like that,” said showrunner Daniel Abrams
“You see, that was probably fine in 2009, but this is, what, 2020? People demand more endings these days. Many, many more endings, like, well over 500. We’ve currently got 562 endings.”
Interestingly though, it is unlikely that the endings will ever be seen.
“Yeah, so this is our other big innovation. Everyone loved that the films seemed to go on forever, right? Well, this show will literally go on forever. We have an infinite number of seasons which means that Lord of the Rings can run until the end of time.
“Which is slightly longer than Titanic.”
If successful, then the Lord of the Rings will be followed up by a TV adaptation of the Hobbit in which the first six seasons will just be dwarves singing in Bilbo’s kitchen.
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