It has been revealed that a maverick cop who might have unconventional methods but, damn it, he gets the job done, has been fired as part of a country-wide drive to improve policing standards.
Jack Renegade, a cop on the edge who worked out of New York’s toughest precinct and has been drunk since 1997, was let go last Friday.
“The people of this great country deserve a police force who are professional and competent, and having a half-drunk guy in a leather jacket pursuing a personal vendetta against ‘those corrupt bastards in City Hall,’ just isn’t compatible with the standards we want to achieve,” said the gruff chief who up until last Friday was sick of putting up with Renegade’s crazy-ass BS.
“Apart from anything else, I’ve got good friends in City Hall and they all work tremendously hard.”
It is thought that Mr Renegade scored way below the required targets on the last three mandatory periodic assessments and after refusing a comprehensive mentoring programme because he ‘doesn’t need a baby-sitter, damn it,’ it was decided to terminate his contract with immediate effect.
Mr Renegade has set up a Private Detective agency to help people get justice against ‘those corrupt bastards in City Hall,’ and can be found most days in Lou’s Bar.
Unless you’re one of his ex-wives looking for the alimony back payments, in which case, we haven’t seen him.
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