The time Arnie, Sly, and Bruce opened up branches of Scotland around the world

Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sylvester Stallone, and Bruce Willis wore kilts as a man played bagpipes next to them.

They laughed and joked as they handed out authentic Highland shortbread to reporters and toasted the crowd with wee drams of whisky.

But, this traditional Scottish scene wasn’t taking place on the banks of Loch Ness or on top of Arthur’s Seat

It was in Central Park, and the three biggest movie stars in the world had just opened up the latest branch of Scotland, in the heart of Manhattan.

“I don’t think people remember just how bold a move it really was,” explains Elizabeth Stone, Professor of eighties beefcakes at Oxford University.

“These guys were action stars, so to not only buy the country of Scotland, which was actually quite unfashionable at the start of the nineties, but to open up a chain of Scotlands all around the globe?

“Everyone thought it would be a complete disaster.”

However, when the trio opened the first branch of Scotland in LA, it was a huge success.

“Los Angeles had never seen anything quite like it,” laughs Professor Stone.

“The rolling heaths, the brooding weather, the majestic lochs – folk in LA just flocked to it.”

It was the start of a roller-coaster ride of success as branches of Scotland opened up in Texas, Cape Town, Sydney, Mumbai, and even Moscow.

However, the success wasn’t to last.

“Well, like Last Action Hero, Rambo IV and everything Bruce Willis did since Die Hard, they made a terrible decision that ruined everything.”

That decision was for each branch of Scotland to hold its own arts festival for mimes, living sculptures, and one-man-bands.

“Yes, what they didn’t realise was that people really, really don’t enjoy mimes, living sculptures and one-man-bands, and only visit the real Edinburgh Festival out of a sense of ancestral duty that no one quite understands.”

So the three stars’ chain of Scotlands all declined in popularity until they were closed, and have been now largely forgotten.

However, Arnie, Bruce, and Sly remain friends and rumours persist that the three are interested in a smaller venture and could be looking to open a chain of Isles of Wight across the globe.

Fans of yachts and fudge can only hope.