It’s the weekend! I’m on holiday, so up yours!
Friday
The Imitation Game BBC1 22.40
Sherlock Holmes does serious acting and invents computers leading to millions of people doing jobs they don’t understand in IT.
Taken 2 5* 21.00
Liam Neeson gets kidnapped by Euro-bastards. So much for that special set of skills, eh Liam?
Das Boot GREAT! Movies 21.00
Epic German masterpiece about a boot.
Saturday
Iron Man ITV 18.20
Robot men punch each other until everyone gets bored and goes home.
This is the reason a new superhero film is released every ten minutes.
Notting Hill ITVBe 22.40
Outlandish fantasy film about man who makes enough money from travel bookshop to be able to live in Notting Hill.
Fire Down Below Paramount Network 21.00
Drama about a particularly painful urinary infection.
Sunday
Road House 5* 21.00
Greatest film ever made. The Citizen Kane of films. Whatever you do, don’t go out tonight.
Unforgiven Paramount Network 21.00
Grumpy cowboy kills everyone and then feels sad about it.
Nude Nuns with Big Guns Horror Channel 22.50
Enigmatic existentialist classic about man’s place in Godless and empty universe.
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