It’s the weekend! Time to visit that abandoned old cabin in the woods for a weekend of sex, partying and definitely no terrifying demonic activity at all.
But if that sounds like a hassle, just stay at home and watch these great films instead.
Friday
Silence of the Lambs ITV 22.45
Anthony Hopkins gives a subtle and nuanced performance as a cannibal called Hannibal.
If his mum called him Mathilda, would he have been a builder?
The Hunt for Red October 5* 21.00
I bet it’s in the last place they look. It’s always in the last place you look.
Pompeii AMC 19.00
John Snow (Not Channel 4 news, Game of Thrones) moons about looking grumpy in front of special effects that look like someone made them on their phone.
Saturday
Beaches 5* 18.05
Relentlessly grim sickness porn that should keep your Mum quiet for a few hours.
******ROAD HOUSE KLAXXON******
Road House Channel 5 22.05
Greatest film ever made. The Citizen Kane of films. Whatever you do, don’t go out tonight.
Titanic Film4 21.00
Inconsiderate couple do sex in strangers car and boat sinks. Coincidence? Spend fifteen hours watching this to find out.
Sunday
Shirley Valentine 5* 21.00
Woman goes on holiday. Seems happy about it.
Burlesque GREAT! Movies 18.25
Remember that 20 minutes in 2008 when Burlesque clubs were trendy? Here’s Cher to remind you. Goes on for over two and a half hours because the GREAT! Movies hates you.
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