Studios still not desperate enough to try a Manimal remake

Studios remain confident that they still have enough ideas for new movies to avoid having to fall back on creating a Manimal remake.

“No, I still think we’re fine,” explained producer Stewart James.

“If things get really desperate we’ve got the Smurf erotic thriller, a superhero called Horseman and a dramatization of British decimalisation.

“I mean, those are our desperate, last-chance, nothing-else-left-in-the-tank ideas. I honestly don’t think we’ll need to turn to those, let alone a Manimal remake.”

Manimal was a 1980s TV series in which a man turned into an animal to help fight crime and impress girls.

“I mean, I won’t lie, we’ve been tempted to greenlight a Manimal remake more than once in the last few years,” said Kelly Grace, a leading Hollywood executive.

“I mean, you get a someone who needs the money – Shia LaBeouf or Anne Hathaway – they’re a zookeeper, they get caught up in some bizarre leopard magic and bang! They can turn himself into any animal. Put them up against some international cat smuggling ring and you’ve got a great light-comedy crime caper right there.

“Manimal discovering his powers by turning into a hippo in the store, and embarrassingly trying to leave before anyone notices. Manimal turning into an eagle to crap on his ex-wife’s new boyfriend. Manimal turning into a giraffe to look in the bad guy’s window.

“I mean, don’t get me wrong, there’s a movie in that, but I just don’t think anyone wants to be the guy going ‘hey, we’re doing a Manimal remake.’ It just looks desperate.”

However, although there is no-one yet desperate enough to try a Manimal remake. It is rumoured that Automan – an eighties TV show about a man who turns himself into a car to solve crimes and impress girls – is potentially scheduled for a remake.

So, someone is pretty desperate.