Ryan Gosling to play serious man who follows all the rules in Star Wars: Starfighter

Ryan Gosling will star in Shaun Levy’s Star Wars: Starfighter as a straight-laced, serious man who follows all the rules.

“Well, I’m very much known for serious films about serious men being serious,” said Shaun Levy, director of Deadpool vs Wolverine.

“So, yes, this isn’t going to be some sort of irreverent romp through the galaxy. Of course, we’ve got Ryan on board as well, with his cheeky grin and film-star charisma so it seems the best way to use him is to have him play a man who takes his job seriously and doesn’t get into any crazy scrapes.”

The plot is still under wraps but it is rumoured that Gosling’s character is tasked with patrolling the galaxy in his starfighter, which he does diligently and uneventfully before returning to base and completing all the requisite paperwork and then heading home for a sensible dinner and early night.

“I think it’s about time that someone introduced a bit of maturity and responsibility to the Star Wars universe and Ryan and I are just the men to do so,” continued Levy.

Star Wars: Starfighter, unusually, will not have a promotional tie-in with a fast food company, or a series of action figures but, instead, will be partner with a turnip producer for turnip-based Happy Meals and will be released alongside a limited-edition Star Wars: Straighter branded release of a popular accountancy software.