Subscribers to the new newsletter from popular well-it’ll-do-if-there’s-nothing-else-to-read funny movie news website Screen Idle have reported a noticeable increase in their personal wealth, considerably hotter boy/girlfriends, and some minor superpowers.
The newsletter, which became available earlier this week, includes links to all recent articles, an expanded Weekend Film Guide and some ‘memes’ for the kids.
It has changed subscribers lives enormously for the better.
“Since signing up to the Screen Idle newsletter, I’m not only 30-40% more amused, but I’m also much, much richer,” said Stewart James.
“I now live in a big mansion with several swimming pools and a bowling alley like you see in drug kingpin’s mansions in the movies, because drug kingpins seem to bloody love bowling.
“Whilst, legally, I probably can’t connect becoming richer with subscribing to the Screen Idle newsletter, I can’t think of any other explanation.”
Kelly Grace claimed her boyfriends had got much better looking since signing up.
“I used to go out with tramps who lived in bins and looked literally like bottoms,” she said.
“Since signing up to the Screen Idle newsletter I’ve gone out with Brad Pitt, Prince Harry, and several out of that One Direction.”
Most astonishingly of all were the superpowers that Summerly Digital’s Ali Richards claimed to have received.
“Well, I’m not Wonder Woman or anything, but I can see through some thin walls and I seem to have some minor super-strength,” she claimed.
“I mean, I’m not saying I could duff up the Hulk or anything, but I could probably push over a wall. You know, if it was pretty old.
“All because of the Screen Idle newsletter.”
The Screen Idle is available now and you should sign up immediately, unless you don’t want your life improved immeasurably.
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