Road House remake to be an existential examination of the nature of man, like the original

Doug Liman has confirmed that his new Road House remake will be a profound, existential examination of the nature of man in the modern world, just like the original.

“To me, the key aspect of Road House is what it says about humanity and being human,” explained Liman.

“Every time I watch it, I see something new in the film, and simultaneously find out something new about myself, about what it is to be human. It is imperative that any Road House remake keeps that profound wisdom at its heart.

“Also, lots of girls taking their tops off and dancing on tables.”

Despite Liman’s promise to retain the intellectual and philosophical heart of the original, there are some who don’t believe it should ever be remade.

“Would you remake Guernica? Rachmaninoff’s Fifth? St Basil’s Cathedral? No. Some things are created perfect. Surely Road House is one of those things?” said Stewart James, a Professor in Road House at Princeton.

“It’s admirable that Mr Liman is intent on focusing on the truth, beauty and philosophy at the heart of Road House, and the ladies and their boobs. But, surely he’ll be unable to add anything new to the work. There is nothing that can be added, it is a perfect work. So, I have to ask, what’s the point?”

Professor James’ advice to Doug Liman is to remake something else instead.

“There are many films that are great, but can certainly be improved through a remake. Vertigo, Citizen Kane, Tokyo Story. Add some rock and roll, sexy girls dancing and a guy getting his throat ripped out and then perhaps they could one day be considered in the same breath as Road House.”