Historical documents indicate Road House may have been written by Shakespeare

Road House has been hailed by many as one of the greatest artistic achievements of mankind, however there has also long been a dispute over where the story originated.

Now, though, new historical documents have come to light that throw a fascinating new perspective on the debate as they seem to indicate that Road House was actually written by William Shakespeare.

“The documents were found in a newly discovered 17^th Century skip by the ring-road in Stratford-Upon-Avon,” explained Shakespeare historian Kelly Grace.

“They are a cache of notes seemingly written by Shakespeare that include his thoughts on contemporary rival Christopher Marlowe – a ‘dick’ apparently, tobacco, which he thought ‘would never catch on’, and most interestingly of all, the outline of a story called ‘Road House’, which he spelt ‘Road Houfe’ because the letter ‘s’ wouldn’t be invented until 1913.”

The story of ‘Road Houfe’ is a familiar one.

“It’s set in a tavern that is beset by fighting and drugs. A handsome man with a mullet arrives to clean the tavern up – we believe this could be the first mention of the mullet in literature. Whilst there is no explicit mention of kick-ass rock and roll, it’s fair to infer that Shakespeare would have intended kick-ass rock and roll to appear throughout the play.”

There is no explanation as to why Shakespeare never developed the story into a play, possibly because the fashion of the time was for plays about mud and having a donkey-head. However, the story does seem strikingly similar to that of Road House.

“Well look, I never claimed Road House was my idea,” confirmed Road House ‘writer’ R. Lance Hill.

“I mean, I’m good – I’ve written Steven Seagal films – but I’m not that good.

“I genuinely can’t remember where I got the idea, but I did spend time in Stratford in the eighties, so maybe somewhere I came across that manuscript. Who knows?”

Along with the suggestion that Shakespeare wrote Road House, the documents also seem to indicate that Shakespeare was responsible for the plot of Michael Bay’s The Island, and the b-side of Duran Duran’s View to a Kill.