Marvel to release Condorman remake

Disney have announced plans to remake Michael Crawford classic Condorman as part of its Marvel phase 4 plans.

Best remembered for being a mainstay of Bank Holiday tea-times when everyone was really hard up for something to do, Condorman told the story of Woody, a cartoonist who was bitten by a radioactive condor and then turned into Michael Crawford.

Something like that.

“I’ll be honest, we were really struggling for new ideas,” confirmed Marvel boss Kevin Feige.

“Then someone remembered watching Condorman at tea-time on a Bank Holiday when they were really hard up for something to do and we figured – a Condorman remake– why not?”

Mr Feige gave a brief indication of the plot.

“Yeah, I guess it’ll be –he’s bitten by radioactive condor, then does a quite small superhero antic that gives him confidence, then does a slightly bigger superhero antic that goes wrong, then throws away all his Condorman gear because he’s just not up to being a Condorman, then there’ll be a big special effect and he’ll save the day by realising that he was strong enough to be Condorman all along.

“And he’ll be mentored by, I don’t know, Lorraine Bracco or Matthew Modine? Both? Someone who is getting on a bit and needs an easy payday.”

With the Marvel magic touch, it is expected that a Condorman remake could well go on to be a mainstay of Bank Holiday teatimes when everyone is really hard up for something to do for a whole new generation.

(Image by Eva Rinaldi. Cropped. Licence details)