Review – Avengers: Infinity War

Right, so, this is totally a big deal to you dudes, massive film. Avengers: Infinity War. Biggest film released since, you know, We bought a Zoo.

So, yeah, anyway, I’m just going to lay this down straight for you, man. So you know what’s what.

The cinema have put up the price of pick and mix fudge.

Now, okay, so that could just be a local problem but it could be national, or even, you know, global, man. So you need to know.

Chill, though, because I’ve totally got a tip to stick it to the man – smuggle in your own fudge.

You can, like, stick a bunch of fudge down your sock and the cinema dudes never even know.

Except if you get Ethan on the door.

Ethan’s, like, my nemesis, man. He totally caught me eating my sock fudge one day after I’d sat down and he was all like – ‘that’s not officially sanctioned cinema fudge’ – and he confiscated it, so now he always checks my sock for fudge before I go in.

You know what though? I’ve totally got one over on Ethan, because I smuggle in my fudge in the sock on my other foot, which he doesn’t check.

Ethan’s a dick.

The flaw though, in my whole, you know, fudge smuggling operation, is that the only place in town that does fudge, other than the cinema, is the other cinema which is out on the ring road by World of Sofas.

They’ve just put their price up too and, like, you factor in the bus fare out there and the fudge turns out pretty expensive.

It’s worth it, though, to stick it to the, like, global fudge cartel…and Ethan. Mainly Ethan.

Screen Idle star rating *** – Screw you, Ethan.