Review – A Quiet Place

Oh man, this was totally a downer. This is meant to be, like, the scariest film since Clowntergeist and the cinema had this total technical fault.

So, I’m there, I’ve watched the adverts and am definitely considering investing in a new Audi because then I can totally discover a whole new sense of freedom and purpose in my life.

But I figure I’ll get some pick and mix fudge instead, so I do that and when I get back, the film’s started and the sound’s, like, totally broken, man.

You can’t hear anyone talk or anything.

Total downer.

I chill for a bit and think, you know, it might sort itself out because, like, it’s a world of A. I. and that.

It didn’t though.

Weird thing is, I check out the other people in the cinema and they are all totally chill about it. I mean, you can’t hear the dudes in the film talk and everyone’s just all, like, ‘yeah, whatever.’

I even try to talk to the guy behind me, and that’s when it gets really weird, because he freaks, man. Like, totally.

He’s all like – ‘shut up, I’m trying to watch the film’ – even though he can’t hear what anyone’s saying.

It’s sad, man, sad. People are just happy to accept this broken film because that’s what The Man decides to give them.

Not me though, no way man. I walk straight out of that cinema and straight home to write this review so you guys don’t end up watching a broken version of this film like I did.

Screen Idle star rating * – Get me a version of the film where I can hear the dialogue and I’ll review it again, man. For now, I stand by my one star.